Five Days of Witty Banter
by oneperfectfit
Summary: Sakura and Kakashi are assigned what is turning out to be a rather boring mission. Surveillance. With nothing else to do they turn to witty banter. One only wonders how they stand this. KakaSaku with more romance in later chapters, rating upped a notch.
1. Day I

**Oh, look, an all-dialogue fic. Something that I'm very proud of accomplishing in a decent and sort of understandable manner. I know I say in my profile that I write one shots. See, this was going to be a rather loooong one shot: five days of surveillance, five 500-700 word sections. But then I realized that it would be cute as five shortish chapters. So hopefully I'll get all five of them up before June. This is Day One, Kakashi and Sakura are doing surveillance and it's rather boring, obviously. KakaSaku here if you squint, far more in later days I hope. I'm sorry if the format is slightly confusing, I think that I made it pretty clear who's speaking. Generally its back and forth unless indicated otherwise. Sorry for the rambling and here I go.  
**

**-----**

**Day One**

"Sakura."

"Yes?"

"Your kunai is poking into my leg."

"Oh. Sorry. Is that better?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"Your elbow is poking into my stomach."

"We're doing_surveillance_. I can't _help _it."

"Okay, well- ow! Bloody… don't move more to the right!"

"Oh, is my foot poking into your groin?"

"_Yes_."

"I'll move it if you stop complaining."

"Please."

"Heh. See, Kakashi-sensei, this is why you don't complain. For the record, your knee is embedded in my hip and you don't see me mentioning it."

"I apologize sincerely for your pain and sorrow. And it still can't hurt as much as what you did just did."

"Hmm. You know how we could make this work?"

"Not at all."

"You let me sit in your lap."

"_Sakura_!"

"Well, not that I'd_want _to, obviously, but my hip might be in need of medical care soon."

"Sakura, you're a medic ninja. Can't you heal yourself?"

"Not when your knee's there and there are a few layers of protective clothing below that- that your knee is_still _penetrating."

"…"

"Maybe you sitting in my lap would work out."

"Oh, Kakashi, you_think_?'

"…ouch, you menace!"

"Sor-_ry_."

"Okay, that's better. That's fine."

"Right."

"Kakashi?"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"Would you rather be beaten to death or buried alive?

"What kind of question is _that_?"

"Just answer it will you."

"Fine. I suppose that if I had to pick between two rather disgusting and painful choices I would rather be buried alive."

"Your turn to go then."

"Hm. Sakura, would you rather kiss Rock Lee or Naruto?"

"That is equally as depressing as what I asked you."

"No, it's not, it's just repulsive."

"Naruto. He wouldn't think it was anything, I think. Would you rather have me or Naruto punch you?"

"Naruto, not you, she of the deadly fist. Even before you learned to enhance with your chakra you could throw someone to the other side of the room."

"Yeah, I know."

"You're not proud of it, are you?"

"Like hell I am. It's very useful in a fight."

"True."

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"You have very comfortable thighs."

"_Sakura!"_

"And no, you can't sit in my lap to test out the same. You'd crush me, I'm certain of it."

"I'm not fat."

"You sure about that? As a medic, I could-"

"Sakura, shut it."

"Alright, alright… who do you think is prettier, me or Ino?

"Do I even need to answer? Ino, obviously."

"Kakashi-sensei, do you have a death wish?"

"No, really, in all seriousness you're much prettier. I particularly like your hair. It reminds me of cotton candy. And your eyes are nice. Your eyes remind me of grapes."

"…are you hungry or insane?"

"Hungry, obviously."

"Too bad, we're stuck here for at least three more hours."

"Damn it."

"You can treat me to ramen later."

"Or, Sakura, you can treat _me_."

"No. So, you really think that I'm prettier than Ino?"

"Yes, yes, your resemblance to food aside."

"Good boy."

"What? Sakura, I'm fourteen years your senior and your old teacher."

"Your point?"

"I'm not Naruto; I don't need to be leashed."

"You know, Naruto would actually make a really cute puppy."

"That leaves me with especially strange mental images."

"Er, don't your Icha Icha books do that too?"

"No, that's the difference; those you see are _good _mental images."

"…"

"Yo."

"Aaaah! What the hell was that for Kakashi? I was enjoying the comfortable silence."

"Ah, but to me it was an empty void in need of a filling. Preferably a chocolate or cream one."

"You are a strange, strange man."

"So I've been told."

"How many times a day are you told?"

"I don't know, it's not like I take an average."

"Hmm, you know what? You really should."

"Yes, I should except an overwhelming majority of those comments would have been received from _you_."

"No, they wouldn't have. You're wrong."

"No, I'm not."

"Alright, _maybe_."

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei?"

"What?"

"Have you noticed that in all our hours of surveillance-ing here that nothing has happened?"

"Besides you injuring me and clambering into my lap?"

"Like, no people, no shady deals, nothing."

"Oh, well, who knows. Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow."

"Maybe. I hope so."

"Sakura."

"Yes?"

"You're quite strange also."


	2. Day II

**Chapter Two. I'm actually posting, I feel so proud. ** ** Warning, fair bit of cursing and references to alcohol in here. If you're touchy about that sort of thing. Which I don't think most people are. At least not where I live. Anyways. Hope you enjoy, three chapters left, and this one is a bit longer, hurrah, hurrah. Thanks for the reviews, they give me a squishy warmth inside... or maybe that's the result of the ice cream. :)**

**Enjoy. **

**Day Two**

"Not this again."

"You know that there's three more days of it Kakashi-san."

"That is precisely what depresses me."

"I know. If it makes you feel any better I'm not thrilled about it either."

"At least _you _don't have a hideous hangover."

"That's because _I_ didn't go to a bar last night and get blind stinking drunk."

"But you did go to the bar."

"And I got _soda water_, Kakashi-sensei. And fruit juice. There wasn't any alcohol."

"Everyone else got drunk."

"I know. I wonder if Naruto and Hinata are awake yet."

"I think they are."

"Do you think we can see their reaction on waking up together at all?"

"No, probably not."

"Sad. Hearing about it secondhand won't be as amusing"

"Sakura, explain something to me."

"Okay, depending what it is."

"How is it that we get the boring middle of the day surveillance shift _and_the early morning one?"

"I don't know. Bad karma, I suppose. Well, either that or Tsunade-shishou likes to torture me. And you. She's annoyed with your reports. They're too short, she says. Also, at least we don't have both shifts in a row."

"That's true."

"And Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes Sakura?"

"You really didn't have to go so drunk last night. You could have been wise like me."

"Wise and you are not words I'd use in the same sentence at all."

"Okay, shut up. And besides, I only had one glass of vodka."

"So you did drink!"

"Not enough to give me a disgusting, painful, obvious hangover."

"But you had hard vodka. I just had various other drinks."

"Uh-huh. But I only had one glass. That was the least of everyone there. Even Hinata got drunk. And went home with Naruto."

"Heh."

"Kakashi-senpai, you are sick. It's _Naruto_."

"You were thinking it too."

"So?"

"So you're just as sick as me."

"Excuse me; I at least do not read porn in public!"

"You should. You'd find it's very relaxing."

"Ew."

"Really."

"Besides, I don't want to scare the entire population of Konoha."

"I scare people?"

"Occasionally."

"…oh, I hadn't realized."

"A lot of the Academy students and genin are terrified of you, I think some people that you've worked with also are. And some of the chunin and jonin from my year."

"I wasn't aware that they all hated me."

"It's not hate so much as it's fearful respect."

"That makes me feel so much better Sakura."

"No, no, it should. Put it like this: would you rather have them giggling behind your back or gazing in silent awe?"

"Actually, the gazing in silent awe thing sort of creep me out."

"Aha, I've found your phobia at last."

"No, you haven't."

"Yes, I have."

"No, Sakura, you have not."

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei, I have."

"No, it just creeps me out. I'm not really scared of it per se."

"Damn it."

"Trying to find my weakness?"

"Found it already."

"Oh yes. Now I remember. You and Naruto got the bells."

"Mmm. That was gratifying."

"I would expect it was so."

"Hey Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Let's train again. I bet that I can beat you."

"I bet you can't."

"Can."

"No you can't Sakura."

"You're too smug. Why don't we see who's right?"

"Fine. Fine. I'll meet you on Training Court 3. What time?"

"3:30 is best for me."

"That works for me also."

"Kakashi?"

"What?"

"We can't spar in this room, can we?"

"Sakura, you're sitting in my lap again. That's the only way we fit in this space at all."

"Well, I could still punch you."

"Yes, but you're not going to."

"Why not?"

"You'll destroy the surveillance booth."

"So?"

"So, Sakura, you'll have to pay for it. And the mission would fail. And, boring as it may be, this surveillance is apparently very necessary."

"You sound like you're quoting someone on that last line."

"The Hokage."

"Yes, that does sort of sound like Tsunade-shishou."

"Mmm."

"That blatant disregard."

"Yes."

"Doesn't mean that I still don't want to punch something."

"You should take Anger Management classes Sakura."

"No. Besides, they would tell to me to stop punching things which is integral to my job."

"Oh yeah. It's a bit like someone telling me not to read Icha Icha in public."

"Kakashi, I fail to see any comparison there."

"It's an integral part of my personality-"

"-that makes people scared of you."

"Please tell me that we're not back to this?"

"Fine, fine, fine, we won't get back to it."

"Okay."

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"I'm terribly bored. And you were wrong. I didn't get lucky today."

"Please tell me you don't mean what I think you mean."

"Of course not you perverted idiot. No action."

"_What_?"

"On the_job_."

"Oh. Right. Of course."

"Do you just hear everything assuming it is innuendo?"

"No, just most things."

"Kakashi, there's no difference there."

"Yes there is. It's a small percentage but it still exists."

"You're weird. This is _so boring_."

"We can play I Spy."

"Oooh, yes. I spy a beige wall! I spy a ceiling! I spy a perverted shinobi!"

"Okay, we won't."

"Next time I pull surveillance, I want Naruto with me."

"Too bad, Sakura. After the… incident… that happened last Naruto was put on surveillance he'll never do it again. Tsunade would put a ten year old from the Academy on surveillance before Naruto."

"I hate you when you're right."

"That's okay."

"I'd like you much more if you bought be food when we get out of here."

"I have no money Sakura."

"Yeah, 'cause you spent it all on _beer_."

"…fine, fine, I'll buy you a round tonight."

"Good. And you'll buy me ramen."

"Are you trying to bankrupt me?"

"No, Kakashi-sensei."

"Than what-"

"I'm trying to make it so that you won't show up hungover tomorrow. You're a bit of an ass."

"…"

"What?"

"Stop looking so cute and innocent."

"Why?"

"It's not healthy."

"Kakashi?"

"What, Sakura?"

"You are really strange."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment."

"I know."


	3. Day III

**Oooh, look, chapter three. I actually completed it. I'm quite proud. In this, roles have been reversed and Sakura has the piss ass hangover. Poor Sakura. So… in which Sakura is hung over, Kakashi is cheerful and they both face the fact that they'll probably die alone, choking to death on ramen. (Or not.) Yet again in this chapter there are mentions of drunkenness and illusions to even more ninja one night stands (that could develop into so much more…) Also, if you see any glaring errors please point them out to me in a review so I can correct them. I hope that once again, you can distinguish who is speaking, Kakashi or Sakura. I think that it's pretty clear, it's still just Sakura then Kakashi, so on and so forth. Yeah. I'm going to end this note now.**

**Reviews are nice, thanks to the reviews, some of you who have reviewed **_**twice**_**! Thank you! You're great and you should know it. (Constructive criticism is, by the way, entirely appreciated. It helps me improve my writing skills)**

"Who's the one with the hangover _now_?"

"You. Person making noise. Be quiet. Head pain because of loud noises. Ow."

"Too bad."

"Okay, you are entirely too gleeful this morning."

"Sorry, Sakura."

"No, you're not sorry. Damn you, did you get Shizune to heal you?"

"Yes."

"So _that _was why she was occupied this morning. Bastard."

"Couldn't you heal yourself?"

"First rule in doing head injuries: the head is already delicate enough, don't approach it when drunk or hungover. I didn't want to give myself brain damage."

"Ah."

"Yeah. Ow, sunlight."

"Sakura, open your eyes."

"No! It hurts!"

"You need to learn to hold your alcohol."

"I can. My head just hurts like hell and the sun is piercing my eyes through my eyelids."

"I didn't have it that bad yesterday morning."

"You're bigger and your body mass is higher, plus you're older, ergo you can handle the amount of hard liquor I drank better."

"Yeah, I know I can."

"Pompous ass."

"Now that's not very nice."

"You know what this place needs?"

"No, I don't, what?"

"Some really dark, heavy drapes."

"That would just defeat the purpose of the surveillance in the first place."

"Oh yeah."

"Sorry to squash your decorating ideas."

"Who has sunglasses that I can steal?"

"Well, there's just this one thing…"

"What?"

"You know that we can't get out of the surveillance booth."

"Damn it."

"I thought you'd like that!"

"Stop being so cheerful, Kakashi."

"Order heard and accepted, ma'am."

"…"

"I should surgically remove your sarcasm gland too."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Sakura…"

"Hm, yeah?"

"Did you see that Naruto and Hinata came together?"

"I know, wasn't it cute? They really are good together."

"Um, I guess."

"Don't you think so Kakashi?"

"I just said that I guessed so."

"I know."

"Then why-?"

"I want something more coherent. Now, let's try again. Aren't Naruto and Hinata an adorable couple?"

"Yes. Yes! Of course! The more adorable, cutest couple in all of Konoha Village! There is absolutely no one cuter than Naruto and Hinata. They are the epitome of cute! Damn it, cute is a strange word."

"Mmmm hmmm."

"Ow! That was my stomach!"

"And that was my elbow."

"That hurt."

"That's what you get for being sarcastic."

"You're a mean person, Sakura."

"You sound like you're five."

"I was cute."

"When you were five? Dunno. Now? Definitely not cute."

"Damn it, there you go with cute again! It's so strange. Cute. Cute. Cute. See, isn't it weird Sakura?"

"…well, _now it is_. Thanks a lot."

"See, I can corrupt any one."

"No, no, no- I never started walking around with my nose stuck in little orange books."

"But Naruto's a perv."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, probably because of Jiraiya."

"Take away my credibility why don't you."

"Yep. That's me. Sakura, denying Kakashi's pervy influence everywhere."

"That title doesn't suit you."

"I know. So stop claiming other people's credit for perv-ness."

"…this is a weird conversation."

"I know. It's almost cute."

"Argh."

"Heh."

"Feh."

"Meh."

"Mm."

"Hmm."

"I can beat you at monosyllables any time, Sakura."

"…fine."

"See?"

"Yes."

"Look, more monosyllabic words there!"

"Well, not in _that _sentence."

"Obviously."

"Whatever."

"Sakura-"

"What."

"Are Shikamaru and Ino going out?"

"Kakashi, why are you asking that?"

"I saw them making out pretty heavily last night."

"Oh. Okay. I don't know. Ino never tells me when I ask her."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Cause she's Ino-pig. Although maybe _that's _why she didn't pick up when I called. Maybe she was still asleep…"

"With Shikamaru."

"Or…"

"Or what?"

"_Or_, maybe Ino and Shikamaru went to _Shikamaru's _apartment last night. So of course Ino wouldn't answer her phone, since she wasn't even there in first place!"

"Aha, you've found it."

"Oh, be quiet. I've just made a brilliant deduction on whether my best friend got some or not."

"And you think that _I'm _perverted."

"You are."

"Right."

"Hey, Kakashi?"

"What?"

"Is it just me, or is…"

"Or is what?"

"Or are all of our friends getting together. Naruto and Hinata, well, we know about that one for sure."

"Uh huh."

"And now possibly Shikamaru and Ino…."

"Right,"

"And I 'm not sure, but…"

"But what?"

"But I'm almost positive that I saw Gai- yeah, Gai- kissing some random blonde."

"You lie."

"I don't think that I lie."

"No, Sakura, really, _Gai_?"

"Yeah. And Genma's always with someone."

"Or something."

"Right. And Neji's been shooting looks at Tenten a lot."

"I saw that! Last night. Over the menus."

"Yeah. And Anko was with someone, even though she's sort of-"

"Scary?"

"Yeah."

"I saw him too."

"Ah, god, I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life!"

"Sakura, you're getting melodramatic."

"I'll die alone! I'll choke or something and there will be absolutely _no one _around to save me and I'll die on the floor and no one will even find me until the smell becomes overpowering and some random person comes to dispose of the body!"

"You're overreacting. And dramatizing."

"Hey, Kakashi, you don't have a girlfriend."

"No."

"You'll die alone too! Except you won't coke. You'll probably go into cardiac arrest or something."

"Whatever."

"No, really!"

"Or I can be killed nobly on a mission protecting Konoha and everyone will remember me forever and ever for my heroic acts to save the villiage."

"Nah, that'll never happen."


	4. Day IV

**Only one (two) more chapter (s) to go! (There is a slight possibilty of an epilogue. Actually, more than slight, because it is handwritten in my room somewhere while the fifth chapter and last day of surveillance exsists only in my sleep-deprived brain. (I slept until 4 yesterday. And I'm still tired.) ) Anyways. Here it is. Something actually happened here... you can decide what. Except it was something that at least involved kissing... use your own minds.**

** On a totally unrelated to Naruto/Kakasaku/this story side note: The Giants won the Superbowl! I can hear people screaming, whistling, cheering from here (yes, so now the 'place that most of you have heard of' in my very un-detailed bio becomes clear). 18-1 Patriots, yay New York!! (And also this person in my homeroom lost his bet that the Pats would win and now has to shave his head.) Sorry to any New England fans out there... enjoy the fic, and this one can be for you.**

** /random plug: please, please _please _read my unrelated drabbles story, Unspoken Moments. There is plenty of KakaSaku in there, and while there may be other things from time to time, I still am posting K/S and it needs lots of love. Please read it. /is begging.**

"Oh. Hello."

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Awkward."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, all I'm going to say is that is wasn't my fault."

"I know."

"This is pathetic, Kakashi."

"I second that."

"It doesn't _need _to be pathetic."

"But it's going to be anyways."

"Yeah, I know."

"It's all my fault, just like you said."

"No, no… it's only like 88 percent your fault. About 12 percent is mine."

"Thanks, that makes me feel much better."

"Mmmm."

"I really am sorry, you know."

"Sorry for what?"

"What happened last night, Sakura."

"Oh, yeah. Um. Okay. Why don't we… just not mention it?"

"That could work."

"Yeah. Um."

"Um?"

"Then what should we talk about otherwise?"

"God, Kakashi, I don't know."

"Would you play I Spy?"

"…not a chance."

"Didn't think so."

"Twenty Questions?"

"No."

"Truth?"

"God no. Where do you get the ideas for all of these games, anyways?"

"I had to substitute for Iruka a lot last year."

"And you didn't _teach _them anything? God, Kakashi."

"Of_course _I taught them! I just gave them a free period in the afternoon. Did you, that one time you substituted- not for Iruka, but for that other girl, what was her name?"

"Kishi."

"Yeah, her, Asami Kishi. Blue hair, I think Genma picked her up recently…"

"Yeah, that's her."

"Anyways, didn't you do anything fun?"

"Well, of course we did."

"Then what did you do, oh great sensei Sakura?"

"We played Capture the Flag, of course!"

"That's not a fun game."

"Of course it is! You have two flags, and there's lot of chasing, and hiding, and spying, and capturing, and fighting, and tackling and it builds skills while you're at it. It's educational, and it's fun."

"Whatever. But from playing Truth with the munchkins-"

"-you lied, didn't you?"

"Of course. Anyways, I learned lots of dishy tidbits about people."

"Share, Kakashi, that's an order."

"I was going to anyways. So, remember how about maybe two days ago we were speculating about Neji and Tenten?"

"Yes,"

"Well, I remembered last night that this dear, sweet, innocent little girl, Noguchi Yae, told me that-"

"Out with it."

"I'm getting there- that she saw our dear Hyuuga prodigy and Tenten training together-"

"They do that every day, Kakashi, obviously, _what_?"

"And then they stopped training and started heavily making out."

"Okay, sure, that explains the looks, but everyone knows that Tenten and Neji are in love with each other."

"But now we have solid, substantial proof. And that fact that they've at least done _something_."

"…capture the flag is more fun."

"Maybe."

"It is!"

"Whatever you say, whatever you say."

"Hey, it's working!"

"What is, Sakura?"

"You know our... thing… not to talk about the… thing…."

"Well,_now_ it's not."

"It feels awkward in here again."

"Yes."

"_Damn_ it. Sorry."

"It's alright…"

"Yeah, it's just…"

"Our friends like to gossip?"

"Yes."

"Well, Sakura, we could…"

"Deny, deny, deny?"

"No…"

"Have mysterious smiles, on all night and not come or leave together?"

"Maybe…"

"Deny, deny, deny, have mysterious smiles, get everyone else drunk and poke fun at both Naruto and Hinata and Neji and Tenten?"

"Maybe. Probably."

"And gag Ino-pig."

"Ino does talk a lot."

"I _know_. But she's still my friend."

"I know. And you can beat her up too."

"Yes. In fact I could, if I wanted, topple the Hokage monument and turn it into a pile of rubble if I so choose."

"Okay, great, but you're not going to do that."

"Probably not. I _will _train with you again though."

"Meaning after three minutes you'll knock me out and then stand around smirking while waiting for me to come back to the world of the living?"

"Yes, of course. Unless we do something fun, like plain hand to hand combat- no chakra powered punches."

"That's great, Sakura, but you could _still _knock me out without enhancing your fists with chakra."

"I know."

"Therefore the point of hand to hand combat between you and me is pointless."

"Not, it's not."

"It isn't? Then enlighten me, please."

"I get to beat you up, you get humbled, and it's fun for both of us!"

"…fun for _you_."

"Okay, fun for me. But still. Everyone wins!"

"Except for me. _I _have to get beat up, and deal with your gloating, and _then_I have to deal with you dragging me into the hospital to heal me and use that as an excuse to give me a check-up to make sure I'm not dying-"

"Yeah, cause you never come to the hospital anyways. When you broke your arm in three places and cracked three ribs, nearly _puncturing a lung_, I had to fix you up in your _living room_, Kakashi!"

"-and it is decidedly _not _fun for me, and then I have to treat you to dinner afterwards."

"Are you saying that you don't _want _to do this, Kakashi?"

"Put your fist down, Sakura. And stop looking at me like I'm going to eat your children."

"That's a strange analogy."

"I know."

"So, you're going to train with me?"

"Do I really have a choice?"

"No. No, you don't. Deal with it."

"That's what I thought. Same training ground as usual?"

"Yes. Oh, and Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"Whatever happened last night…"

"Yes?"

"Probably won't happen again…."

"I know."

"And it was a mistake…."

"Of course."

"And we were both really, really, really, really drunk…"

"I know, my hangover was horrible."

"And it's still all your fault."


	5. Day V

**Ah, the final day of surveillance. And a sort of short chapter. But I like it, and I think that what **_**happens **_**in the chapter will be rather well-received. Yes. Ahem. I'm sure that you all can guess at it, right? Right. Oh: thank you ever so much for 48 reviews and the 2500 hits. 50****th**** reviewer can get a request drabble of about 200-300 words. Just put it in the review, since I'm sure you can tell. Sicne I'm bored-ish, on break (woo!) and my trial of Illustrator has been downloading for hours (7 left!) and my internet is slow, and yeah. Thank you for reading. This is the final chapter… maybe. There could be an epilogue. So I won't put it is complete **_**just yet**_**, si? Jumping to another topic, thanks to ShipperTrish for reviewing every chapter (and almost anything KakaSaku I write) pretty much minutes after I post it. That makes me feel loved. Thanks to the 22 people who fav'd this and people who put it in C2s. You all rock and deserve ice cream and chocolate. And now: the final day of surveillance (and no, we still do not know what they are surveilling.) **

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Today is even more awkward than yesterday."

"I know."

"But not yesterday night."

"You remember yesterday night?"

"Pretty much."

"That's impressive."

"I told you that I can hold my alcohol better than you Sakura."

"Yes. Wait."

"What?"

"Did I do anything stupid?"

"Nothing stupid that I didn't do, and it depends on what you mean by stupid."

"Yeah, what we… did was not… rightish."

"Rightish?"

"Yes. Rightish."

"Okay."

"Er, Kakashi?"

"What."

"Stop sighing at me. Also, are you completely _sure _that I did nothing that was really weird."

"_Yes_."

"Okay."

"Mm."

"This is weird."

"Yes, Sakura, it is."

"I mean, last night we got…"

"Intimate?"

"Yeah, that word works. Intimate with each other, and now it's like picking your way through a field filled with exploding tags. Except much worse because you can't just die and end it all. It's freaking odd."

"Yes, it is. Because generally, you and I do not…"

"Get drunk and engage in the activity that is generally called a one night stand?"

"Quite."

"Right. Normally we just get drunk."

"Yes. That's right. We get drunk and we watch our friends couple up. In both senses of the word."

"But we ourselves don't get together. We're destined to die alone, right Kakashi?"

"Yeah, you'll choke and I'll die of a heart attack."

"Exactly."

"…"

"Sakura, you cannot use one of those numerous suicide jutsus that you know right now."

"Why the hell not?"

"An awkward situation isn't a good enough reason to kill yourself."

"Painlessly. And yes it is."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just told you."

"Yes. So?"

"You're impossible."

"Thank you, Kakashi."

"Ehm. Ow." 

"_That was an accident!_."

"I know."

"And we're not doing the lap thingie again. Besides that coming out wrong-"

"-what else?"

"It would make a bad situation badder. I mean worse. Yeah."

"You're babbling."

"Shut it, Kakashi."

"Okay."

"And I realize that I was babbling. I do that when I am in a situation that is like this but not entirely identical and feeling uncomfortable."

"I see."

"And I'm going to be trapped in the fricking situation for a few more hours."

"Well, Sakura, we can always get drunk."

"…look where _that _led us last time."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay. We can… not get drunk and drown our heads in misery?"

"Sounds about right."

"Yeah."

"Screw it, I want to get pissed."

"That didn't take long, Sakura."

"No, it didn't. But I need a new drinking buddy now."

"Yes, that would work out. May I suggest Sasuke and Naruto?"

"I see them too much and besides, they'd ask me where I was last night. And, theoretically, if I told them, you would be dead."

"Okay, what about Gai's team?"

"While I quite like Tenten and Neji is fine in my book, there is the matter of Lee."

"Oh, right. Um, Genma?"

"I were prefer not to be ogled the entire time. I'll just find Ino and Shikamaru."

"I'll miss your company."

"I won't miss avoiding a repeat of last night."

"Okay, yeah."

"I told you so."

"…"

"I'm bored."

"Congratulations, Sakura. You win the prize."

"Admit it, you're bored out of your mind too."

"Perhaps."

"Heh, told you so Kakashi."

"…"

"We can play I Spy?"

"Okay, I have to say it. What is up with you and that game?"

"…I'm squished."

"Kakashi, you're not answering my question."

"I don't know, and I'm still squished."

"Goody for you."

"…your sarcasm is endearing."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really."

"So that's the explanation for last night? I was being endearingly sarcastic and snarky?"

"I think so. I'm still a little fuzzy. Less fuzzier than you, however. I think it started something like this-"

"-Kakashi, what the _hell _do you think you're do-"

"…"

"Sorry."

"Sorry? _Sorry_? You just freaking kissed me!"

"I just wanted to see if it would feel the same way now as it did last night."

"Kakashi, you _ass_, that is _no freaking reason _and may I remind you that we're on a _mission_-"

"-that didn't bother you before-"

"-and why the _hell _do you do these things-"

"-I'm not sure-"

"-and why the _hell do I let you get away with them-_"

"-I don't know."

"Argh!"

"Sorry, Saku-"

"…"

"Okay, that time was your fault."

"I _know_, Kakashi."

"Are you sorry?"

"Well, you don't seem to be mad."

"Good point. You know, if Tsunade-sama finds out we were-"

"Making out on the mission?"

"-yah, that works, she'd kill us."

"Or she'd tell us to get a room."

"I like that option better."

"You do, don't you."

"Of course."

"…"

"Oh, stop looking all happy like that Kakashi, we're still trapped her for five more hours-"

"But this is our last day!"

"…okay, I'll celebrate that."


	6. Epilogue, or Night I

**The epilogue. So, yeah, this means it's over. So thank you. Thank you for the reviews, which are more 7 times my other oft-reviewed stories. Thank you for reading and the almost 4000 hits. I really appreciate it. That said, I have a poll in my profile that is itching for votes. I have a few ideas for a multi-chapter fic, and votes on which one would be preferred would be great. Thanks. Finally, this is short-ish in comparison to the others. But it's an epilogue. So I'm okay with it. Just a snapshot of what happened after the boring surveillance (and no, you still don't know what they were watching. Possibly because I do not know myself.) **

**Thank you again. And now, please enjoy. **

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Well, this is rather interesting. Sitting around in an empty apartment-"

"-stop insulting my décor, Sakura-"

"-staring at the wall."

"It's not my fault that the bartender asked us to leave. He should have asked Naruto."

"Uh-huh. And some part of you _didn't _think that Naruto would react badly to you making out with me, not that I minded, right in front of him when he wasn't inebriated?"

"Um."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Look, it's not my fault that Naruto is really overprotective of you."

"No, but you should have some idea of that fact and what his reaction would be, Kakashi. Remember, you're a ninja? Good at adapting, noticing your surroundings?"

"Er."

"I give up."

"Well, there are very many things that we could do in my, ah, empty apartment."

"Could I paint?"

"…no. I was referring more to making out."

"Because of previous events, I am now intimidated by kissing. I am now terrified that Naruto is going to pop up and destroy the surrounding area."

"You're just asking for it, Sakura."

"I am, aren't I?"

"Uh-huh."

"…"

"That was a welcome distraction."

"Isn't it?"

"And Kakashi?"

"Yeah, what?"

"If you want to be a witness when I beat up Naruto, that would be interesting."

"I think it would be an entirely pleasant way to spend the afternoon."

"Actually, I was planning on waking Naruto up really early, because you know how much he despises waking up before noon, and then beating him up. ON my honor, of course."

"Of course. I will be the witness to say that you were cruelly provoked into the act, that your _poor, innocent_- get that?- date was attacked by Naruto with no justification for his- Naruto, I mean, Naruto's actions."

"That sounds good. I'm sure Tsunade-shishou will see it our way."

"Are you positive? I don't know if she'd approve."

"Er, she actually sort of guessed a few days ago, after we kissed. From the extreme shade of red I kept turning whenever I mentioned your name, she sort of guessed that something was up, right? And she says that if you screw up she's throwing you into the Hokage monument."

"I see."

"But you're not going to screw up, right Kakashi?"

"Of course not."

"Good. Because if you did, after Tsunade-shishou threw you into the Hokage monument I'd knock you out but punching you into the Forest of Death and then get Tenten to use you for target practice, and Hinata to practice her techniques on, and Tenten might bring Neji. And Ino would kill you with her fingernails."

"Okay, tell me something Sakura."

"Sure."

"Is it Threaten Kakashi Day? Because everyone is, and it's getting a little depressing. And bad for my overall mental health."

"Well. I'm sure that I could find some way to make it up to you…"

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Of course."


End file.
